Just How Exactly Does One "Lose Their Religion" ??

Quite  a question, I know ...  I don't have the answer other than to say this.  I used to think it's a letting go gradually.  A letting go of the various factors that perpetuate religious motivation behaviours and thinking.  Now I think in it's entirety there does come a point where you either let it all go, or you stay connected to it, and maintain that connection for whatever reasons:  fear, uncertainty, lack of clarity, not sure.

The idea of letting go of one's religion I am thinking this morning, really at it's very core, means we no longer hold on to this idea that we somehow have to prove ourselves to others.  Prove ourselves to God, prove what we believe, and prove why we believe it.  We no longer see any value whatsoever in perpetuating this attitude.  This idea of proving ourselves exists in so many believers, denominations and religions (my denomination is better than yours, more right than yours, my religion is better than yours, more right than yours and so on).  To prove why I am right and why you are 'wrong'.    

Wouldn't a better way to win someone to Christ be through the love and conviction of His Spirit, without  condemnation? I mean if it's really the Spirit of God, isn't this how He works? I mean through genuine love and genuine care for a person ?  With no religious motive or agenda other than that thru and building relationship with them, their hearts would be forever won and freely given to Christ ??   Isn't that the opposite of the way the religious and institutional mindset operates.   Why do we have to go always on the attack against another?  Why can't love just win ?  For us all ?  Why do we have to prove ourselves or Christ to others ?  We are valued highly and loved and forever won to Him.  Once we make that connection, it has to and will deeply change how we view all others around us.  

I want to illustrate this a bit further.  I was having supper with two good friends.  One 'born again' and 'saved'.  The other friend is simply very hungry, very open, very searching, really searching.  Interestingly, the 'born again' friend is very closed and  very rigid in her thoughts, opinions, and beliefs.  She has grown even moreso as the years have passed.  You know it is really hard to have conversation that is of value, edifying fellowship, with Christians such as this.  I have tried so often.  You just sit there while they go on an on about what they know, how much they know, why they know it, etccc.  I sit there thinking Lord this sounds all so foreign to my heart.  Anyhow, the other friend is very easy going, caring, compassionate, loving.  The born again friend even told us both as we were sitting there, "I am not really compassionate (oh well)"  But it was said like, it's quite fine to be that way, and to say this as a Christian. 

So here I am, with two friends I love, sharing a meal together, but it's like I could really see why so many people are not really interested in "church stuff".   It's because of what it all represents to them.  They are often sadly correct in their evaluation too.   Not only does it all sound hypocritical, but their presentation can come off as very condescending and judgmental.  It's not that their message is necessarily wrong, message being Christ is the only way to the Father.  He is the Only Way.  It's that they are not able to convey that message in such a way where the 'hearer'  can truly open up and  receive it and see the Cross as a message of love for them.  Instead they would rather, "be right".    In fact, what happens, is the opposite, the hearer will close right down and this is what happened in this situation.  My hungry spiritually friend closed right down when the 'born again' friend began to just "tell" her she was right and why she was right , so on so on.   

So what I wanted to say in this post, is that if I look back on this journey of letting go of religion I have to say that so many times initially I wanted to try to fit the two together.  The two mindsets.  I wanted to have hope that somehow there was a way to adapt these two together.  Into One.  The new found freedom in Christ that was away from religion,  I wanted to try to attach the religious mindset to it in some fashion.  But now I see that as not really possible. By it's very nature and at it's core, it comes off as simply condescending and judgmental.  The way I prefer to be won to Him and win others to Him  is through His love, poured out and seen in and through others.  Love winning.  

What I have come to conclude sadly is not only do these two mindsets not 'fit' together in any fashion, but that the longer one holds on to, or maintains this religious mindset, (which is built on lies) they will become just more and more ineffective in demonstrating the true nature and love of God that was in the Cross.  They just continue to be held captive by instead by this religious mindset.  Though their message is often correct and true, what they reflect predominantly is the nature of their religion.  So even though the message is right, the reflection to others is something totally different.  I think people pick up first and foremost on the nature before they can hear the message.   If one continues to hold on to this mindset eventually it just continues to take ahold of them in an even deeper way.