Monday, November 26, 2007

Dependance on God

How do we depend on God ? It seems everyone has an idea of what this means - but what does it mean in our hearts ?

F. Roberts says "Walk not carelessly, neither lay out thine own paths on which to travel." "Walk closely with me that you may be able to draw on my aid." "Ye need me no matter how well developed is thy faith, nor how mature is thy growth in grace, never think for a moment that ye need My support any less."

This is good, the last thought. What I understand Him to be saying is we are not gaining in terms of storing up grace, we are actually becoming more dependant on Him as grace is truly working in us. Grace is not about us gaining anything, but Him gaining in us. In fact grace helps us to look away from ourselves, from what we think we know,from what we think we have gained, understood, realized, to becoming seemingly more aware of Him, how incapable we are to do anything in terms of what He would want to do in a human heart.

Roberts says "Move forward with courage and confidence, but always allow Me to walk ahead, and choose the right path for thee."

What does it mean to move forward with courage and confidence, yet depend on His grace in that, and not trust in ourselves, ie our own efforts in terms of moving forward? And are we moving forward I mean really? I understand to a certain extent what my soulish religious efforts and rationalizations are, but how do I get turned around to the power of his grace instead always doing it for me? To understand grace, and yet to think one is moving forward, well seems hard to reconcile these two ideas together, for me anyways. It seems to be more about grasping Him and His grace necessary and the completeness is that grace, and if it's complete, we are not really moving forward anywhere ! Yet we are being continually broken and needy, in our desire for Him, which is greater than our desire for recognition in terms of self. The only recognition we really have is recognizing we can do nothing of value in terms of spiritual life, and in this place, ... wanting Him and wanting to know Him. Over and over for me when I try to "do" I must again be broken and softened to Him and I end up wanting Him more and more. So we gain nothing by our efforts and never will. We drift.

How does all this get worked out in a broken human heart? I think one way is looking upon others, this helps us to refocus away from self. This seems to be highly significant in terms of value to the human heart. Giving our lives and laying down our lives for another,as a servant, is really about gaining (if that is the correct term) in regards to our heart condition and need to look away from self. Somehow this helps make the necessary adjustments in a human heart such as mine, to get beyond the idea that self is achieving anything. We are wanting to become passionate deeper and deeper in Him, and this is as we grasp what it means to truly gather around His heart for others. This has got to be our heart on a continual basis, or should I say His heart? A continual exchange of our heart for His, for ourselves, for others, for our families. If we have anything of value, it's only because God has given it to us and has worked it out in us. This is something on going, isn't it ? Even this seems fleeting at best. This should be the resonating characteristic of our whole life and the continual attitude within us. To depend on Him entirely and not ourselves, or forbid, another. Grace alone bringing us up into Him, or perhaps I should say bringing us down and Him up. It is an attitude within the heart that looks at everything through the lens of enabling grace from Him. ( And how truly lovely He is ) Which needs to be constant, continual, oh how needy we are, yet how great He is .... great grace upon us all.

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