Sunday, January 18, 2009

Getting There

It's seems things have been up and down for me as I still am in recovery mode. I am certain I am not the most pleasant to be 'around' these days, especially when I start to get taken up with worries and concerns over the state of my recovery process. I find myself easily wandering off into 'possible scenarios' of 'what ifs' and 'complications' due only to one thing: the primary reason being that I am a nurse. Every little setback, no matter how small or big it is, causes a shift as I immediately feel the 'nurse' inside of me kick into overdrive as I begin to theorize & put a nursing process / plan into gear.

Thankfully Father hasn't let me meander in that place too very long. I asked my husband just this morning hesitantly, "Am I sounding paranoid?" Thankfully he responded to me gently, but honestly & graciously with his response being "a little". I think I am just a little vulnerable these days, and apparently Father knows that quite well, as well as my husband, children, and friends. Everyone has been so very patient with me. I would like to think that I too could be so gracious. I think of the compassion Jesus had and has over the multitudes who were sick, invalid, somewhere perhaps in a state of recovery, (or perhaps they weren't even yet in recovery), but whatever their particular problem was and wherever they found themself, I am truly convinced that His heart never failed to be moved deeply and compassionately towards their entire well being, no matter what had befallen them.

Maureen's post got me thinking this morning of Jesus. (If you haven't read it yet, you may want to pop over there & check it out, thanks Maureen). Jesus truly is the very center of our life, and wherever we are, He is getting us closer to Him. It's been a very good thing that He has chosen to strip ever so gently the layers away that have clouded this Truth (Himself) within us. Much like an onion, layer by delicate layer, the process is always ongoing. It's so amazing and He is the joy, our joy giver and the One who has invited us to share the very love that He and the Father share. That is what it's all about. That's what is happening to me through my recovery. He's reminding me over and over again that He is the centre of me. He lives in me. It's His wonderful pleasure to be a part of us, bringing us back to this Truth all the time. Loving us in our day to day ups, downs, circumstances.


Ike said...

There are mysteries of God that no human mind can plumb. We can catch a glimpse of His omnipotence and omniscience, but our theology can never fully grasp or contain Him. Our infinite God will never fit into the finite little box of human understanding.

I don't think Job had this understanding of God's greatness before he was forced to cling to God through his time of pain and loss. Job's sufferrings have magnified his image of God. That is why we need to study the life of Job and learn from the sufferings he endured. Remember that if we live long enough.....suffering is coming!

Ruth said...

Hi Ike,

Thank God though, He does come to us in such a way as we can come to know our Creator and understand that He is at work, revealing Himself to us. Just getting glimpses of Him fills us with so much light!

My understanding is that part of Job's suffering was related to his sin of pride. (32:1)

Regardless suffering seems to definitely be the way where we truly come to know value love and appreciate Him more and more. Historically the church has always flourished at times of great suffering and persecution.

I remember one time someone sent me an email that said something to the effect that "until u suffer for what you believe in, you will never fully know what you believe".

Rich said...


So good to hear you are mending and slowly getting more comfortable in your earth suit!

Also loved what you shared, thanks Ruth.

Ruth said...

Thanks Rich! mending is the perfect word, yes !