Getting There

It's seems things have been up and down for me as I still am in recovery mode. I am certain I am not the most pleasant to be 'around' these days, especially when I start to get taken up with worries and concerns over the state of my recovery process. I find myself easily wandering off into 'possible scenarios' of 'what ifs' and 'complications' due only to one thing: the primary reason being that I am a nurse. Every little setback, no matter how small or big it is, causes a shift as I immediately feel the 'nurse' inside of me kick into overdrive as I begin to theorize & put a nursing process / plan into gear.

Thankfully Father hasn't let me meander in that place too very long. I asked my husband just this morning hesitantly, "Am I sounding paranoid?" Thankfully he responded to me gently, but honestly & graciously with his response being "a little". I think I am just a little vulnerable these days, and apparently Father knows that quite well, as well as my husband, children, and friends. Everyone has been so very patient with me. I would like to think that I too could be so gracious. I think of the compassion Jesus had and has over the multitudes who were sick, invalid, somewhere perhaps in a state of recovery, (or perhaps they weren't even yet in recovery), but whatever their particular problem was and wherever they found themself, I am truly convinced that His heart never failed to be moved deeply and compassionately towards their entire well being, no matter what had befallen them.

Maureen's post got me thinking this morning of Jesus. (If you haven't read it yet, you may want to pop over there & check it out, thanks Maureen). Jesus truly is the very center of our life, and wherever we are, He is getting us closer to Him. It's been a very good thing that He has chosen to strip ever so gently the layers away that have clouded this Truth (Himself) within us. Much like an onion, layer by delicate layer, the process is always ongoing. It's so amazing and He is the joy, our joy giver and the One who has invited us to share the very love that He and the Father share. That is what it's all about. That's what is happening to me through my recovery. He's reminding me over and over again that He is the centre of me. He lives in me. It's His wonderful pleasure to be a part of us, bringing us back to this Truth all the time. Loving us in our day to day ups, downs, circumstances.