Sunday, February 15, 2009

There's Only So Much Room in My Heart :)

This isn't going to be a long post.

I am finding it hard these days to make room in my heart for Jesus.

It seems selfish things, bitterness and unforgiveness has somehow pursued my heart, and found
a lodging place in my heart. Because of this, it is making it very hard lately for me to experience Jesus.

I am wanting to defend my right to be bitter, upset, and angry over things I can't control and over that which Father has allowed anyhow. Things I don't think I deserve. Perhaps I don't but the reality seems to be that I do have a choice, a choice to stew over things and let it stink up my heart, or find peace in Him and offer Him my love once again.

It seems to me that God is right there with me, he sees the struggle in me at the moment, a struggle over the fact that I seem more determined to cling to hurts - then letting them go. It's so easy for me to 'feel I have the right to feel a certain way'. (My guess is that we all struggle with this one)

I was reading 1 Sam 25 early this morning. I love the picture of Abigail, coming to David, laden down with precious gifts, and bowing before Him. She wanted to ask of the Lord to be merciful and forgiving. I just love the sight of that in my mind, it seems so beautiful , Abigail bowing down before David, she was very courageous too; David's anger seemed to evaporate as he watched her, through her courage and intervention and faith, David was able to reconsider his pending actions and treat Nabal with kindness instead and be longsuffering too, even tho he had been provoked. He was such a great king.


Ike said...

The feelings expressed in the book of Job are primarily those of affliction, distress, grief, misery, and doubt. Here is the cry of man's wounded spirit, the deep groaning of a man who desperately struggles to trust in God, even though everything in his life is crumbling. Human beings were made to know God and trust in Him. So when our suffering reaches such a white-hot intensity that life seems senseless and chaotic, then our only hope is to cling to God in faith.

Open the book of Job whenever you find yourself going through pain and trials, whenever you cry out, "Why, Lord?" In those pages, you'll find a man who has experienced agony and loss beyond our ability to comprehend. Job questions God, seeks answers from God, and even becomes angry with God-yet he remains faithful. In the end, we see that Job emerges fron his time of trial with his faith-relationship with God intact. He who began a good work will finish it!! When you are unable to pray.......He is there praying for you!

Ruth said...

Thanks Ike,
I have often been encouraged by being reminded that He is there praying for me! (It also encourages me when I know someone else would pray for me) I think the prayers of just one or two others is such a blessing. It's a good thing, that He is at work for us to face the fact that in order to have total dependance on Jesus Christ - we absolutely have to see our need. and let go of our old life. apart from Jesus we are nothing, it's only thru this do we truly find Him and find the life He came to give us. (blessed are the poor in Spirit) ruth