This isn't going to be a long post.
I am finding it hard these days to make room in my heart for Jesus.
It seems selfish things, bitterness and unforgiveness has somehow pursued my heart, and found
a lodging place in my heart. Because of this, it is making it very hard lately for me to experience Jesus.
I am wanting to defend my right to be bitter, upset, and angry over things I can't control and over that which Father has allowed anyhow. Things I don't think I deserve. Perhaps I don't but the reality seems to be that I do have a choice, a choice to stew over things and let it stink up my heart, or find peace in Him and offer Him my love once again.
It seems to me that God is right there with me, he sees the struggle in me at the moment, a struggle over the fact that I seem more determined to cling to hurts - then letting them go. It's so easy for me to 'feel I have the right to feel a certain way'. (My guess is that we all struggle with this one)
I was reading 1 Sam 25 early this morning. I love the picture of Abigail, coming to David, laden down with precious gifts, and bowing before Him. She wanted to ask of the Lord to be merciful and forgiving. I just love the sight of that in my mind, it seems so beautiful , Abigail bowing down before David, she was very courageous too; David's anger seemed to evaporate as he watched her, through her courage and intervention and faith, David was able to reconsider his pending actions and treat Nabal with kindness instead and be longsuffering too, even tho he had been provoked. He was such a great king.
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